A Setup

The doctor came to me and stated,”I need you to meet me in room 20 with a speculum.” Okay. Fourth vaginal exam today. I gather the speculum, lube, specimen tubes, drape, and other various items. As I walk into the room, I see the doctor speaking to a man on the stretcher. The doctor states, “Hey. Come in and shut the door. You have the lube?” WTF. I’ve been set up. Okay. Whatever you say. Doctor states to the guy on the stretcher, “I need you to get on your knees and poke your butt out at me and hang on to the rail on the other side. Nurse, (he actually says my name) I need you to push his stomach as hard as you can.” Okay. The doctor gloves up, lubes his entire hand up to his wrist, takes the speculum and places it into the man’s ass and states,”I can see the tip. Nurse, can you see the tip?” “I see it.” Doc states,”Go on the other side and push his stomach as hard as you can.” He then places his hand into the man’s ass, all the way up to his wrist. Now up to his forearm. He yells, “Push! Push his stomach!” The guy is screaming! Lube is dripping from this guy’s ass! All kinds of air bubbles and squishing, sloshing sounds coming from his ass. I’m yelling,”I can’t push any damn harder!” The guy is breathing hard, sweating, and screaming! Doctor is gagging as he is hit a few times with gas and other ass particles. I’m thinking, Jesus! This poor guy! (The patient) The guy then pushes me back and says,”I can do it better.” He then leans himself, as hard as he can, into the rail and starts screaming. He then places his hand into his own ass. The doctor and I look at each other and shrug. He yells, “I can’t feel it!” The doctor says,”I almost had it.” Doctor then places his hand, up to his forearm, into the guy’s ass again. Ass is all over open skin. The guy then leans up, places his right fist into his stomach and the other hand onto the rail, still screaming. I’m just standing there like, hmm, can’t make this shit up. Finally, the doctor looks up and says, “Got it, push push push!” Vibrator, the size of a rocket, flies out onto the floor. Plop! Goop and all, mixed with some brown and a little blood, of course. I gag. I ask the guy if he’s okay. He says,”I hope it was good for you guys, too.”  Just another day at the office.

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